What Happens When Dad is in Charge of Getting the Girls Ready?

What Happens When Dad is in Charge of Getting the Girls Ready?  Simply put....all Hell breaks loose.  It's really a simple plan, it is.  My wife leaves early in the morning to go to work an generally the two  little girls crawl in bed with me and we sleep about another 15 minutes after mom leaves.  I'm usually charged with getting the girls dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed and the other things that go along with getting ready in the morning.  I generally make sure at least two of the afore mentioned items are done....hey I'm not Superman.  This morning my wife dressed both the girls before she left.  They crawled up into bed with me breathing their sweet little morning breath in my face, cuddling with me and all was right with the World.  About ten minutes later I got up to go take a shower and left my two little princess' to watch TV in our bedroom.  As I look back at my two little bundles of joy I think "what perfect little daughters I have".  As I'm finishing up my shower, my 6 year old comes in and says "Daddy, Bella (2yearsold) rubbed diaper ointment all over her like lotion."  I reply "take this wet wash rag and just wipe it off her honey, thanks for letting me know."  As I'm drying off I hear Emma holler, "Daddy this isn't wiping off and she has it on her clothes too!"  No problem I think, Emma tends to exaggerate and panic, it's a trait she gets from her mother.  As I walk into the bedroom I see my little perfect angel Bella sitting on my bed covered from head to toe in thick, white, diaper ointment.  It's in her hair, her eyes, her mouth, her shirt, her belly button, her pants and at this point she's smearing it between her toes!  No longer a little angel but a hellion who must be the offspring of a crazy person, I strip her down and plop her in the bathtub.  That diaper ointment is made to repel wetness, and it was working quite well.  I lathered her up, scrubbed and rinsed, lathered her up, scrubbed and rinsed and then lathered her up, scrubbed and rinsed, but to no avail.  This is some good s!@# I thought to myself.  


This had thrown a kink in my routine, my normal plan had been aborted, we were in hurry up mode and already 10 minutes behind schedule!  What shall I do?  I think to myself.  Maybe powder will help soak it up or something....It doesn't, it only makes clumps of an impenetrable powdery substance that NASA could use in Space or an oil exploration company could probably use to waterproof equipment on drilling platforms!  I accepted defeat dressed Bella, tried to comb her greasy, powdery like hair and the three of us rushed out the door to start our day.  I was whooped before I even left the house!  Happy Good Friday and Easter Weekend everybody.